CwC - Are You Impatient or Just Independent...

Somewhere along the way, independence got a bad reputation. It started getting lumped in with impatience, coldness, and that vaguely judgmental label of 'hard to deal with'. Especially if you’re someone who moves quickly, decides decisively, and doesn’t enjoy waiting around for people to catch up emotionally, mentally, or logistically.

So let’s ask the uncomfortable question: Are you truly impatient… or are you just deeply, unapologetically independent? Because those two things look similar on the surface—but the motivation underneath tells a very different story.

The World Loves a Waiting Woman (or Person)
We’re taught early that patience is a virtue. Wait your turn. Wait for permission. Wait for clarity. Wait for the right time. Wait for someone else to validate what you already know. Independence disrupts that script.
Independent people don’t wait because they don’t need to. They gather information, check in with themselves, and move forward. Not recklessly—but efficiently. And to a world that equates hesitation with thoughtfulness, that confidence can look suspiciously like impatience.

But impatience is rooted in irritation. Independence is rooted in self-trust. There’s a difference.

Impatience Says: “Hurry Up.”
Independence Says: “I’ll Go Ahead.”

Impatient people struggle with discomfort. They rush because waiting annoys them. Independent people move because staying stuck feels dishonest. An independent person doesn’t storm off because others are slow—they simply refuse to abandon themselves while waiting for consensus. They’re not angry. They’re aligned. And alignment doesn’t linger.

When You Stop Explaining, People Get Uncomfortable
One of the clearest signs you’re independent—not impatient—is how often people accuse you of being 'too much' the moment you stop explaining yourself. Independent people don’t over-justify. They don’t workshop every decision in a group chat. They don’t crowdsource their intuition. They make a choice, take responsibility for it, and keep moving. To someone who relies on external reassurance, that looks abrupt. Even rude.
But what they’re really reacting to is this: You didn’t need them.

Independence Isn’t Cold—It’s Selective
Impatience dismisses people. Independence discerns. Independent people are deeply thoughtful—but only about what matters. They don’t waste energy on circular conversations, endless maybes, or relationships that require constant negotiation of basic respect. They’re not unwilling to invest. They’re unwilling to overextend. That’s not impatience. That’s boundaries with a backbone.

The Burnout Factor
Here’s something no one talks about enough: many 'impatient' people are actually former over-givers who got tired. Tired of waiting for consistency. Tired of hoping potential would turn into action. Tired of explaining the obvious. Independence often blooms after disappointment. After you realize that waiting longer doesn’t always mean better outcomes—it just means you wasted more time. So you stop waiting. Not because you can’t. Because you won’t anymore.

Speed Isn’t the Problem—Avoidance Is
True impatience avoids growth. It skips the work. It demands shortcuts. Independence does the work quietly and quickly. It doesn’t linger in indecision because it already sat with the discomfort internally. By the time you see the decision, the processing already happened. That’s why independent people seem fast. You’re just seeing the final step.

You’re Allowed to Choose Yourself Quickly
There is nothing noble about staying where you’ve outgrown. There is nothing virtuous about waiting for clarity you already have. And there is nothing wrong with choosing peace, progress, or solitude without a long dramatic pause. If that makes you 'impatient' in someone else’s story, so be it. You know the truth. You’re not rushing. You’re respecting your own timeline.

And that? That’s independence—with intention.

love, kate

A little bit of humor: Being with an independent woman isn't for the faint of heart. You have exactly 2 seconds to help or else she's moving the ladder, climbing the counter and almost dying because you took too long.