Cupcakes with Coffee - Family & When Walking Away Is the Only Option

With the holidays fast approaching, not all of us will celebrate with family. And I am fine with that. 

Note: does NOT include my 20 something son - my joy, my best friend, my everything. So here we go...

We Grow Up Hearing 'Family is Everything' 

But what if that 'family' constantly drains you, disrespects you, or never ever reciprocates the kindness you have always bestowed on them in THEIR time of crisis? (See a previous POST: 'Are You Giver or a Taker?') You have every right to put up walls and even cut ties altogether, if necessary. More on that below. Sometimes love from a distance (door cracked) is the healthiest option but sometimes it requires the harshest decision (shut the door completely).

This isn’t about revenge or punishment—it’s about self-preservation. If the relationship only brings chaos, manipulation, or constant hurt, walking away is an act of courage, not betrayal. You don’t owe anyone continued access to you just because you share 'blood'. You owe yourself peace. And yes, people will talk. They’ll misunderstand. They might even paint YOU as the villain. Let them. They weren’t living in your skin when you cried yourself to sleep.

Set Up Boundaries

Boundaries are simply decisions you make to honor your self-respect. Your mental health is way more important than a family connection that is not serving you the way it (they) should. Embrace your peace of mind, your dignity and hold your head high. You have done enough-even if others see it as a betrayal. That is their issue, not yours. If they can't care for you the way you have always cared for them-let it go and do it your way. It's time. You are not a martyr. 

I know ending a relationship with a parent, sibling, or any other relative isn’t easy. Society loves to guilt you into staying, whispering things like 'but they’re your mother' or 'you only have one sibling(s)'. Guess what? You also only have one mind, one heart, and one life—and if someone keeps stomping on them, the family title doesn’t give them a free pass. EVER.

AND NO, again you don’t owe an explanation, a warning, or a chance for them to redeem themselves for the 47th time. Family is supposed to be your safe place, not the reason you need therapy. If they won’t respect you, they don’t get 'you'. PERIOD. Not everything is worth fixing. Move on. The only reason people take you for granted is because they assume you will always be there. Prove them wrong. No second chances for those who had all the access and abused it.

DNA doesn’t bind you—peace does. And if that makes you the villain in their story? Fine. At least you’re the villain who sleeps at night. And if you are looking for closure, you already have it. The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of an apology was the closure. The lack of care, accountability and honestly - that was the closure. They didn't call, reach out, showed you that they were a decent human being. CLOSURE.

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS A PRIORITY.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS ESSENTIAL.

YOUR SELF CARE IS A NECESSITY.

So go do something just for you. Something selfish in the best way.

Sometimes you just have to remove people without warning. We're getting too old to be explaining what they already know they're doing wrong. (@perfectsayings)

Choose who gets a seat at your holiday table wisely...

Love always,

Kate

P.S. As I mentioned above, this will NEVER EVER EVER happen to me and my son. No ill words or unfortunate actions would keep me from walking through fire for him EVERY single time. That's what a mother does. And I know he would do it for me too. Unfortunately, I know from experience what it is like to not have that relationship with my own mother as well as my father (in his later years).

Phew. Now, onto cupcakes.

Cupcakes with Coffee Style:

Cupcakes are tiny acts of joy—soft, sweet reminders that life doesn’t have to be big or perfect to be worth celebrating. They’re the reward after a hard day (mid-day, if necessary), the comfort during a messy one, and pure bliss in edible form. Paired with a good cup of coffee, they’re not just dessert—they’re a moment of pause, a little cheer, and sometimes, the reason you keep going.

This is such a cool coffee recipe. Takes a minute to make but soooooo worth it. You will need pistachio syrup, browned butter, espresso, and milk.

1. To create the pistachio syrup, combine water, sugar (to taste - I use a packet of Stevia), and pistachios in a saucepan. Simmer the mixture for 10 minutes. Once cooled slightly, strain the syrup to remove any solids and add a touch of almond extract for an extra layer of flavor.
2. Next, prepare the browned butter by heating cubes of butter in a skillet until they turn a beautiful golden brown. Stir often to prevent it from burning. Once the solids sink to the bottom of the skillet, remove the browned butter from the heat and set it aside.
3. In a mug, combine a double shot of espresso with a generous amount of pistachio syrup and a spoonful of browned butter. Stir.
4. Add desired amount of milk foam (I like oatmilk for this one).
5. If desired, garnish your homemade pistachio latte with crushed cookies or chopped pistachio nuts for added texture and visual appeal.

(Source: suddencoffee.com)

A little tidbit:

Pistachio nuts are not only tasty and fun to eat, but also highly nutritious. In fact, these edible seeds of the Pistacia vera tree contain healthy fats and are a good source of protein, fiber, and antioxidants. Pistachio intake can be traced back nearly 300,000 years. Nowadays, they’re very popular in many dishes, including ice cream and desserts (for example, those VIRAL Dubai Chocolate Bar Pistachio Cookies).

Evidence-based health benefits of pistachios: loaded with nutrients, high in antioxidants, low in calories yet high in protein, may aid weight loss, promotes healthy gut bacteria, may lower cholesterol and blood pressure, may promote blood vessel health, and may help lower blood sugar. Run, don't walk, and pick some up!

ENJOY!

Again, 'but they’re family' is not a magical phrase that excuses abuse, manipulation, or repeated disrespect. Choosing your mental health over family drama isn’t cruel—it’s survival. You’re not turning your back on them; you’re turning your face toward peace. CHOOSE YOU. Choose the quiet over the mayhem. The safety over the storms. And if anyone calls that selfish, remind them—selfish people don’t set themselves on fire to keep others warm. Blood may be thicker than water, but peace is thicker than BOTH.

DO IT ANYWAY.